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Thread: 1000 clues that you have been playing thief way to much ...

  1. #701
    Member
    Registered: Dec 2003
    Location: UK Portsmouth
    2537: After going back to the forum after posting in '1000 reasons u have played thief too much' u realise there is only one post left until the 700th, rush back in in the fear someone might beat u too it.

    2538: U see some pot smokers on a park bench and ask them if u can have some shroom. They reply with... 'these aint majic mushrooms m8, this is weed' U leave feeling distinctly confused, never heard of any drug apart from good old shroom tea.

  2. #702
    Member
    Registered: Jun 2002
    Location: Lost City, Fire Talisman Tower
    2539: You've just beaten "The Metal Age" for the 17th time, convinced the ending will be "different" this time.
    *Nobody throws me my own sword and says "Run". Nobody. - Benny*

  3. #703
    Member
    Registered: Dec 2003
    Location: UK Portsmouth
    2540: and when finding that the game does not have a 'metal gear solid' style ending scream at Karres for not picking up that after being killed 16 times in the same way he does not stand much chance of getting it right this time.

    Then you remember thief is not real

    Then u remember its real to you, so therefore must be real, and continue to scream at karress for being a dumb f**k.

    2541: you go to church armed with the following... holy water, blessed by the builder, the 'holy water' the priests make in the church is totally phony.

    Fire Arrows (match on the end of a lolly stick)

    Water arrows (water balloon on the end of lolly stick)]

    Flash bombs (real ones cost too much so its just a metal case which you say flashes)

    mines ( once again too expensive and/or illegal so its a metal case with a lot of baking soda in it)

    And are distinctly dissapointed when no zombies come out of the church's graveyard.
    Last edited by TheivingME; 20th Dec 2003 at 11:34.

  4. #704
    Member
    Registered: Aug 2003
    Location: !CUMBRIA!
    2542: you walk around steats wearing long black cloaks and hiding in corners. The police find you half way up a street lamp trying to bash out the light with a big black stick!

    2543: you end up knowing the whole script from "I'm goin' down to the bear pits tommorow, you wanna come with?" to Caras's dying scream.

    2544: when going round the house you naturally step on the carpet and miss out the flag stones and creaky floorboards.

    2545: you break into and steal from your own house, just to see if you can.

  5. #705
    2546:The fact I sat here and read 29 pages of this.

  6. #706
    Member
    Registered: Dec 2003
    Location: UK Portsmouth
    2547:You have just had a massive collage party and the mess is massive. Your parents are home in one hour and there is not time to clean up so you:

    booby trap the front door with baking soda mines

    put a pressure pad outside your back door, which causes broadheads to fire (tacs on the end of a lolly stick)

    Set yourself up in your bedroom window with some gas arrows (fart in a jar on the end of a lolly stick)

    And knockout anyone who comes down the road

    2548: you have invented an entire thief arsenal.

    1:sword= toy lightsaber
    2: blackjack= sock filled with beads
    3: broadhead= tac on the end of a lolly stick
    4: water arrow= water baloon on the end of a lolly stick
    5: Fire arrow= match on the end of a lolly stick
    6: moss arrow= water baloon filled with grass and miracle grow on the end of a lolly stick
    7:gas arrow= fart in a jar on the end of a lolly stick
    8: rope arrow= tac on the end of a lolly stick with some rope.
    9: noise maker= baby brother/sisters rattle attatched to a lolly stick
    10: speed potion= LSD- makes you think your moving fast
    11: Invisibility potion= weed- makes you think your invisible
    12: slow fall potion= ecstasy- make you think you are falling slowly-use of this drug as a slow fall potion as resulted in me with two broken legs- much to my surprise, i am
    sure the potion was working.
    13: mines= tin cans filled with baking soda.
    14: scouting orb, (unfortuantly only has a range of about 5 cm) = your plucked out eye, without pulling it away from all its connecting nerves and veins and shoved inside a metal case
    15: suburst device=metal case, that you have farted inside for the past 10 years and kept resealing.
    Last edited by TheivingME; 22nd Dec 2003 at 17:47.

  7. #707
    New Member
    Registered: Nov 2002
    Location: Ohio
    2549) You can't wait for the day when the page posting numbers at the top and bottom of the page gets too long to see on one line.
    derrick mckee
    garretthethief23@excite.com

    "I am having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I have forgotten this before."

  8. #708
    Member
    Registered: Dec 2003
    Location: UK Portsmouth
    2550: 70% of women prefer shopping to sex.

    You prefer thief too sex.

    2551: you spend decades of your life researching quantum physics, wormholes etc, so you can reach the thief universe, after failing you have a breakdown becasue you have wasted your entire life on a pointless research.. then you die of horror because you realise you have wasted decades of your life not playing thief.

    2552: After you die someone picks up your research where you left off and succeeds building a portal to the thief universe, you then raise from the dead (in the form of a zombie) because you are that desperate to meet garrett. When you run moaning with a foul smelling rotting joy at him he blasts you with a holy water arrow.
    Last edited by TheivingME; 29th Dec 2003 at 16:54.

  9. #709
    2553) The occassion to steal the 3000th post creeps closer...yeeeeeessss....urp.

  10. #710
    Member
    Registered: Aug 2002
    Location: Pennsylvania, US
    ...

    12: Haha, let's mess up the counting. Thief is fun!

  11. #711
    Member
    Registered: Dec 2003
    Location: UK Portsmouth
    2554) you sit cursing thiefsie fool for 12 hours because s/he has the same plan as you. Now you will have to sit watching the forums 24/7 so you can get it.

    2557) You get bored of watching the forums and go play thief.

  12. #712
    Member
    Registered: Dec 2002
    Location: yn y caws
    2558> (this one really happened to me)

    In the middle of an english GCSE mock paper, you use the word "taffer" as if it were any other word, i.e, "taff off you taffing taffer" (not that far off the one i used) and then get it corrected to taffir by the examinator.
    I like cheesecake! Do you like cheesecake?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

  13. #713
    2559) Whilst watching Return of the King, you immediately think of poor Giry from Song of the Caverns at a certain scene (this one happened to me).

  14. #714
    Member
    Registered: Dec 2003
    Location: UK Portsmouth
    yep i thought of old giry on that scene as well.

  15. #715
    2557) (corrected counting, next is 2558 since 2555 and 2556 were skipped)

  16. #716
    2558 - You're playing and you hear a noise behind you. You move the mouse and wonder why the heck the view didn't change.

    2559 - You're listening to footsteps on your right side and turn your head so you're right ear is closer, so you can triangulate the sound better.

    2660 - You compulsively take screenshots of Constantine's house so you can build your own house like that.

    (If these are repeats, sorry, I can't read all 29 pages at the moment. I will someday though, when my mom isn't on patrol. )

  17. #717
    Member
    Registered: Aug 2003
    Location: California
    2661) You wonder how the "ceiling" tiles in the upsidedown areas have survived so long, because mouse houses' ceiling material is very easy to damage or break.

  18. #718
    2562) You stop believing in God because you became converted by the Hammerites. (see #192)

  19. #719
    Member
    Registered: Jul 2002
    Location: tampere,finland
    2563) you think your mother shouting at you to stop playing for five seconds are the haunts
    same with the taps on the shoulder

  20. #720
    Member
    Registered: Mar 2002
    Location: House of Sand and Fog
    2564) You begin to read books based on their titles -- you imagine they might give you some more insight into the Thief world. e.g.,
    • "The Box Man" by (Taffer) Kobo Abe
      Basso's life story!
    • "The Art and Craft of Pounding Flowers: No Ink, No Paint, Just a Hammer" by (Priestess) Laura C. Martin
      Hammerites' Guide to Pounding Out Pagans
    • "Making Wooden Mechanical Models: 15 Designs With Visible Wheels, Cranks, Pistons, Cogs, and Cams" by (Brother) Alan Bridgewater
      Yes, we all know how the Mechanists started.. First they built models.. Then they bult doomsday devices..


    deadman.

    P.S. True story about the first one! I was trying to figure out exactly what a 'box man' was (I think it involves being experts at manipulating lockboxes) and found that among others. It's really good, too

  21. #721
    Member
    Registered: Dec 2003
    Location: UK Portsmouth
    2565) You are hiding in a dark corner with a black cloak and your home made thief kit (see sign 2548) when a police wo/man walks past you and sees you, you give out a whimper of terror realsing you are caught, and are utterly amazed when s/he only laughs openly at you and walks by.
    Last edited by TheivingME; 2nd Jan 2004 at 16:34.

  22. #722
    2566) Your friends don't have any posters in their rooms because you keep slashing them with your knife "to find secret passages".

  23. #723
    Member
    Registered: Dec 2003
    Location: Brasília-Brazil
    2567- You have a strange(but cool) feeling when in a darkened room, and everyone in the house is sleeping
    2568- You lean before entering a room with people inside
    2569- Unlike other people, you dont get anxious while hiding from someone, you just keep quiet
    2570- You think of your experiences in Thief in bed, before sleep

  24. #724
    2571) You use the 'Thief' card in OverTower whenever it comes up, even if you don't really need to.

  25. #725
    New Member
    Registered: Nov 2003
    Location: In a state of disarray.
    2572: There is this street light right outside my bedroom window and it flickers on and off all night. Last night it was particularly bad and the first thing to pop into my head was "Ok, how many water arrows do I have left and how many will it take to take out a street light?" Crazily enough, my second thought was, "Probably only one." And the really funny thing is I don't even play very much, my husband does and I watch/
    Caffeine for mind. Pizza for body. Chocolate for soul.

    My FM, "Rostlam's Renegade", is currently 75% finished.

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